SANDWICH
by photognn
Summary: beware of this story. Roy  Mustang  dropped his sandwich.
1. Chapter 1

**Full Metal Alchemist and D Gray Man Crossover**

Roy Mustang walked across Central command, thinking about Hawkeye and how she had that egg salad sandwich for lunch today. "Maybe we could switch again." He looked at her from across the way, while walking towards him, in a huff, like she always was. "Hey, Riza."

"How many times do I have to correct you, sir? Do not call me by my first name." Mustang smiled as he walked with her. She always made him happier than he was before.

"So Lieutenant, do you want to switch lunches again?" Riza looked at him, her face unreadable.

"'What kind of child do you think I am?' is what I want to say, sir." She smiled slightly "but can I really say no, to you, sir?" she handed over her egg salad sandwich.

"move." A man shoved him, his hand slipping on the paper bag, making it rip, making the contents fall to the dirty ground, the sandwich falling apart.

"Son of a…" Mustangs head shot up. "YOU!" he snapped his fingers, flames swirling around. "YOU MESSED UP MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE DAY, YOU **BASTARD**!" the man stopped in his tracks. He had a sword and a deadly look in his eyes.

"Sir, I would advise to get something from the snack bar." Mustang looked at Riza, his eyes filled with hatred.

"I DON'T GO TO SUCH PLACES. NOTHING CAN REPLACE YOUR COOKING, LIEUTENANT HAWKEYE." He looked back at the man as she shrugged. "NOW GIVE ME ANOTHER SANDWITCH. RIGHT NOW." The man turned, smiling.

"It seems as if you are angry." He shook his head, his pony tail waving with him. "And how dare you talk to a lady in all uppercase letters. My name is Kanda, you are foolish to fight with me, prepare to die."

"YOU HAVE SOME NERVE, TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT_, KANDA_." Mustang smiled. "NOW, I WILL BURN YOUR BODY, STARTING WITH YOUR TOUNGE!"

Kanda smiled, his eyes glinting. "Ha, good luck with that."

**COMMERCIAL BREAK (NOT REALLY)**

**So what do you think? It was really random, and I thought I would try something humorous. Reply!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Full Metal Alchemist and D Gray Man Crossover**

Meanwhile:

"Al, do you get this? I mean what was the Cornel doing when he wrote this? It's all crinkled and stuff." Edward Elric stomped through Central as he walked in front of his taller yet younger brother, Alphonse (who is a suit of armor from failed human transmutation, yada yada).

"You should probably ask the Cornel, brother, and not me… brother. And for another thing why are we even a part of the military in the first place, brother? We could have signed up to be an investigator like Hughes, brother. I just think t was a bad decision… brother" He carefully looked to his side.

"Aw... Shut up al. no one likes a smart alic." He grunted still looking at the papers.

"Okay brother."

As they walked Edward glanced up to see the Cornel himself.

"YOU HAVE SOME NERVE, TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT_, KANDA_." He said smiling. "NOW, I WILL BURN YOUR BODY, STARTING WITH YOUR TOUNGE!"

The man supposedly known as Kanda smiled, his eyes glinting. "Ha, good luck with that."

"Hey! Hey, Cornel!" Ed bounded up jumping up and down hoping that the Cornel might look at him. "Hey! Over here, Dumbass! Your notes make NO SINCE!" he glared at him once more, noting that the Cornel was in the middle of a fight, and that it would be wise to stand back.

"Bah! What the hell! This isn't a coming of age show (it kind of is) so to hell with being WISE!" he strode to the Cornel and threw his papers to the ground, shouting "blah blah blah!"

"AAARRRGGAAA!" the Cornel clutched his face to where one of the cornels notes was lying. "FULLMETAL… "He knelt to the ground. "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LIGHT?"

**COMMERCIAL BREAK (NOT REALLY) TO BE CONTINUED…**

**So what do you think? It was really random, and I thought I would try something humorous. Reply!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Full Metal Alchemist and D Gray Man Crossover**

Alan Walker walked through the court yard of a place he had never been to before. He had lost Lavi and Lenalee along the way to Komui. He suspected that they didn't want to put up with his ranting for the 127th time. He scratched his head and shrugged off his exorcists coat and bobbed his head each time he took a step.

"I wonder were those two are… stupid Lavi… stole Lenalee away from me again. And I wanted to finally make my move (after forever)! Lavi is just a ladies' man I guess… or a man's man… hee hee" (had to add it in although I totally contradicted myself. Sorry if you are confused about Alan's sexuality…) he continued on for a while, and noticed across the way, a little boy with long blonde hair was jumping up and down, although it did not help him grown taller for a man with black hair wearing a kind of navy blue coat was staring at… KANDA? "WAIT… what is going on here? Why is a perfectly fine tuna… no EGG SALAD sandwich lying on the ground! How foolish!" he looked up to see a woman with blonde hair staring at the black haired man. "And who are** you**?" she looked towards him, her face strait, showing no emotions, yet oddly beautiful.

"I believe I am too old for you." She said plainly, "I am sorry."

"Don't be. You look about 14. You know I'm 15 and I like a girl who's older than me. Aren't I cool?" He smiled. Oh yeah. I'm sllllllyyyyyyy.

"I'm 28." She stared blankly at him.

"Oh… well you look young." He laughed slightly, nervous.

"I look half my age? I don't think that's possible for a 28 year old." Suddenly they both heard a scream.

"AAARRRGGAAA!" the man with black hair clutched his face to where a sheet had plastered itself. "FULLMETAL… "He knelt to the ground. "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LIGHT?"

The boy, who was apparently 'Fullmetal' looked at the man, confused, it looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or not. Or weather to run or not.

"You moron! Stop playing with me." Fullmetal screamed and inhaled sharply.

"Can we resume with this fight?" Kanda yelled, clearly pissed off.

"I… I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING. NOT ONE THING… THE LIGHT… WHERES THE LIGHT?" he let out a weird sound, between a screaming cat and a weeping dog. "I'M BLIND."

"No you are not, sir."

"I'M BLIND! HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE? I'M BLIND!" Alan walked towards Kanda, becoming baffled by the situation.

"Cornel stop being an idiot, like Al! Stop acting like Al!" a man dressed in armor came forward, slightly.

"Brother…"

"Shut up Al." he shrunk back cowardly.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT, YOU PONYTAILED GIRLY BOY WHO RUINED THE LIEUTENANTS COOKING!" suddenly a gust of wind blew the piece of paper off his face.

**COMMERCIAL BREAK (NOT REALLY) TO BE CONTINUED…**

**So what do you think? It was really random, and I thought I would try something humorous. Reply!**

**(And I just noticed I was using the wrong Coronel (I spelled it like a popcorn cornel (woopsies!)) sorry! I guess you should just laugh about it and forget the fact. ANY WAYS… thank you for reading, more will come soon) **

**OH YEAH! And if anyone is into foreign music I have a suggestion to a Korean band they are called ****Bye Bye Sea, any way, they are good (remember, this is just my opinion. And this is getting to be very long so…) so check them out! Again, thanks! **

**AND ANOTHER THING… if you haven't noticed I am switching characters every chapter, so I guess I'll give you a clue as to who is next…**

**He is apparently 14, and annoys the heck out of Edward in this story. I don't think you'll be able to figure it out. as you can see I worked hard while preparing that clue. ANYWAY… thanks for reading. I'll be updating sooner than you think! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Full Metal Alchemist and D Gray Man Crossover**

Alphonse Elric looked at his brother, commonly known to Alphonse as 'Brother'. He looked towards Cornel Mustang as he shouted;

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT, YOU PONYTAILED GIRLY BOY WHO RUINED THE LIEUTENANTS COOKING!" suddenly a gust of wind blew the piece of paper off his face. He looked at Brother and saw that he was smiling his same "you deserved this embarrassment" smile. Alphonse looked at the crazy guy with the sword, his face seemed to be frozen showing only a scowl. Alphonse found himself trying not to feel afraid. Brother always stared at him when he was. It was scary. His brother always said,

"Even if you don't know what's ahead, don't think of the consequences, just go right ahead, and don't be a wimp, Al!"

"Brother, can we go, brother?" he asked as the Cornel screamed at Hawkeye.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WASN'T BLIND?"

"No, Al. stop talking to me, this is interesting. " The scary man with the ponytail muttered to himself,

"These people are fools, their too stupid to get involved with."

"Um… Cornel… um, Brother?" Al looked at the Cornel then to Brother. He was rambling on about being humiliated for the rest of his life or something along those lines. The scary guy was walking away, and he still hadn't paid for another sandwich.

"Al, who told you to speak. Did I? NO. So be quiet."

"Yes, Brother." He looked down to see Brother glaring at him. Message received, no more talking. He looked back at the people leaving. The guy with the white hair began to pick up the sandwich from the ground, looking cautiously at the Cornel… but he noticed any way.

"WHA-? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH LIEUTENANTS SANDWICH THAT SHE GAVE DIRECTLY TO ME, YOU FREAK?"

"Uh… N-nothing sir…" The boy said, a trickle of sweat dripping down his face. He gasped in air and exclaimed: "sir I would like to take your ruined sandwich! PLEASE!" Al looked back at the Cornel. His face was turning red.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU BASTARD!" Now they were both screaming.

"P-please sir! I'm soooo hungry, I'll do anything!"

"DON'T SUCK UP TO ME YOU LITTLE RUNT?"

"Who you callin' SMALL!" Brother, please!

"Can we get on with this?"

**COMMERCIAL BREAK (NOT REALLY) TO BE CONTINUED…**

**So what do you think? It was really random, and I thought I would try something humorous. Reply!**

**Okay so the next chapter is the end. I have it all planed out… hee hee. **

**So my hint for the next character is that he has a pony tail. Good luck with that one. Anyway, thanks for reading, and comment if you like to!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Full Metal Alchemist and D Gray Man Crossover**

Kanda stood there, listening to that moron, Allen try to defend himself. Stupid cursed bean sprout.

"Can we get on with this?" he shouted, now fully pissed off, ready to split all of the idiots in half. Everybody stopped for a moment before the Cornel spoke.

"THAT'S RIGHT…YOU NEED TO BUY ME A SANDWICH!" he leapt forward, aiming towards Kanda.

"You are a fool." Kanda smiled, "who said I was going to **buy** you a sandwich!"

"Sir, I think this is unnecessary." Hawkeye stepped forward, her face still blank.

"FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT! HA HA!"

"Brother, please."

"Can I eat this then...?" Man, that bean sprout is stupid…

"STOP!" The armored man screamed, stopping everyone in their tracks, including Allen who was half way done with the sandwich he was eating. "I can't stand here anymore!" he looked at the little boy. "Brother, why don't we just make a sandwich, all of us, together, brother. It is a nice way of making friends too, right, brother?"

"That is not a good idea, Al! All of your ideas put us in bad situations! In fact, this whole issue was because of** you**!" he glared at him, and the armor seemed to shrink in fright.

"…I think you have your facts mixed up, pal." Bean sprout said, laughing slightly.

"Yeah, brother."

"Shut up, Al!"

"Hey. Why don't I just buy a damn sandwich already? I want this done." The Cornel looked at Kanda, amazed. Kanda was getting fill blown ANGERY.

"REALLY?" his face brightened.

"No. not really. I just wanted to see your expression when I said it." He smiled, evilly. That made everything better.

"Hey." Everyone looked over, to see a girl, 14 years old, max, wearing a sort of school uniform. "Has any one seen my weapon? His names Soul." She smiled randomly.

"Who names their weapon?" Kanda sneered.

"Hey, Maka, I'm over here." a guy with unusual white hair, like Allen stepped forward, from behind a bush.

"Hey, that's a human, you freak!" The little boy (Ed) said, jumping up and down.

"No. he's also my weapon." What the…

"Matt. I can't find that darn Matt." A guy who looked unusually like a girl walked by. "Has any one seen a guy with glasses and is obsessed with video games?" everyone was silent. What the hell was going on?

"Hello, Mello. I see you are here too." Another guy with white hair came forward, sitting in a wheeled chair.

"What the… Near?" the two suddenly looked at each other, just staring.

"RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN!" a guy who was in an orange suit jumped past them, his hair oddly spiked.

"STOP RUNNING, YOU HOOLIGAN!" the Cornel ran after him.

"Stop." Allen looked up to see yet another man with white hair, only with a large wooden box on his back. "That sandwich… it's a mushi."

"A what?"

"Are these people all Hollows… I can't tell… where am I?" A girl with navy blue hair was seemingly talking to herself was walking into the hallway.

"Come back here, yuri girl!" A girl with two ponytails grabbed another girl who was trying to run away from her.

"Don't be fooled! He's actually a BOY!" She said, but stopped talking as soon as she saw the girl who was talking to herself, and her nose started bleeding. "W-what a nice school uniform…"

"HA HA HA!" Everyone looked over at yet another person with white hair with ponytails.

"WHATS WITH ALL THESE WHITE HAIRED PEOPLE?" the Cornel yelled.

"And what's with the ponytails, you're a guy." Kanda sneered.

"You have one too, but I am Nora, the mighty demon Cerberus!" Nora yelled, baring his fangs. He looked like a dog.

"Man, this is so not cool." The 'weapon' Soul said.

"Hey… what the heck?" a guy with a sweat shirt on looked at every body, his face was surprised. "hey, dude, what are all these **manga **characters doing here?"

"What?" Kanda said.

"soo un cool."

"WE ARE MANGA CHARACTERS?"

**COMMERCIAL BREAK (NOT REALLY)**

**Characters from: **

**Death Note, Soul Eater, Naruto, Mushi-Shi, D. Gray Man, Fullmetal Alchemist, Bleach, Bakuman, Nora, Maria-Holic.**


End file.
